From the “you gotta be kidding me” file, Plaxico Burress, father of a little boy named Elijah (named after Giants QB Eli Manning, Plax’s teammate), has shot himself in the leg. Read the full story

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Bet he wants that statement back. Oops.

Here’s a dopey song parody to go with the actual video of the press conference, which is below.

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Some thoughts while I watch the Olympics.

-    Michael Phelps: I think PTI has a point when they say that maybe we could wait until the guy actually wins all the medals before we say that he’s “the greatest Olympian of all time!!!!!” or whatever. On the other hand, NBC got me to pay attention, so I guess they’re doing something right.
-    Women’s Gymnastics: Read the full story

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When you see this headline:

• Bush gives US Olympians a rousing send-off

Which “Bush” do you think of? The President, right?

Well, I thought of Reggie Bush, running back for the New Orleans Saints. Only when I clicked on the story did I realize they meant the Prez.

I need help.

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Here’s a problem we’d all like to have: the Rooney family is trying to keep The Pittsburgh Steelers a family-owned NFL franchise for as long as possible. To do that, Dan Rooney and Art Rooney II are attempting to buy out their siblings. For about $35 million each. The idea is to keep local billionaire Stanley Druckenmiller from owning the team.

Part of the issue is that the NFL, with typical hypocrisy, wants to eliminate any connections to gambling interests. The Rooneys own racetracks, which Roger Goody-Goody-Goodell has a problem with.

The daddy-part of the story (other than that I wish the Rooneys would adopt me) is this:

Their father, Art Rooney Sr., was heavily involved in gambling and, according to legend, bought the Steelers in 1933 with $2,500 in racetrack winnings. But the NFL now frowns on any ownership association with gambling.

That last sentence is pretty funny, since NFL events such as, oh, I don’t know, the Super Bowl, generate insane amounts of money via gambling. As long as the NFL isn’t directly involved, I guess it’s OK, right?

My dad left me $1,000 which I never saw because my mother needed it for something. So, you know, I can’t relate to this at all. Talk about the DNA lottery. Not bitter, good for them, but sheesh. Come to New York and buy me a drink or something.

(image: Amazon.com)

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