Jul 23 2009

DadNews Daily – All Cheney Edition

Dick Cheney

Big Daddy Dick Cheney got all up in then-President George W. Bush’s grill when he was trying to get the Prez to pardon Scooter Libby. I have to admit, I wonder why Dubya didn’t issue the pardon. Not because Cheney was all up in his grill (isn’t that a phrase that white people need to stop using? Yes, it is) but because… well, why wouldn’t he just do it? He did a lot of other shit. (Huffington Post)

Liz Cheney, daughter of Dick, was unwilling to say that the maniacs who believe that President Barack Obama was not born in the United States and is therefore not a citizen, or “birthers” as they are apparently called (I hate giving them a name), are nothing more than conspiracy theorists. She says that the “birthers”, or “lunatics” as I like to call them, are merely “uncomfortable” with President Barack Obama, who she says is “an American president who seems to be afraid to defend America.” She gives an example about Daniel Ortega and how the President should have reacted more strongly to his obnoxious speech, but mostly just spouts GOP Conservative Hive Mind catchphrases. James Carville, after babbling in that weird accent, eventually hits the nail on the head at the end of this video of his appearance with Lizzie C. on the Larry King Show. The video is worth watching, although it will probably make you mad. (Huffington Post)

Here’s the vid if you want to check it out right now:


Last Cheney item of the day: the Dick himself may have to testify in the CIA investigation. Ooo. That could be interesting. (Politico)

Image: Wikipedia

Jun 25 2009

Governor Mark Sanford And His Magic Pants

I'm so sorry... that I got caught... I mean, that I had an affair...

I'm so sorry... that I got caught... I mean, that I had an affair...

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has admitted that he wasn’t hiking the Appalachian Trail, like his staff told the press. He was in Argentina banging a woman. While his wife and 4 kids were home.

See, Sanford did something wrong. And while he admitted it, that’s not really good enough.

Look at this picture. He looks like a lovesick schoolboy. It’s so insulting to any man who has ever resisted temptation. And temptation is out there for everyone.

Affairs don’t just “happen.” You don’t wake up and find your penis inside a woman other than your wife. Ooops! Sorry honey! It has a mind of its own.


So how did the Governor and his mistress meet? According to this site (which is called Spreadit.org, so it may not be 100% accurate – the link is work-safe though), “Mark Sanford met Maria back in 2001 in New York and the two developed a friendship after she asked the politician some advice on saving her marriage.” I can imagine the conversation now… “Well, the best way to save your marriage, dear, is to spice up the bedroom! I can help you with that…”

Politically, it’s always amusing when this happens, because the GOP Conservative Hive Mind only assaults Democrats who stray. Check out this gallery of “Cheating Politicans” from the ultra-conservative New York Post. It’s largely Democrats, despite the fact that there have been loads of Republicans as well. There are a couple on there, but the focus is on the Dems. There will be some finger-wagging and tounge-clucking, but nothing like Clinton or John Edwards. Oh, and this from March of 2009. “Small-government conservatives have found their champion.” The problem there is that many conservative leaders add morality to the list of issues they support. Sanford himself invoked God and Christianity yesterday. It’s insanely hypocritical, and insulting. I’m not very religious but if I were, I would find the invokation of God in the face of an extra-marital affair nothing more than a slap in the face. Who the hell do you think you are, Sanford? I’ll tell you. You’re a guy who wanted to dip his wick into another woman. Here’s a quote from his press conference: “I was struggling with regard to where my heart was.” What are you, a character in a John Hughes movie? No. You know why? Because John Hughes wouldn’t write a line as shitty as that one. The only struggle you had was with your dick. Admit it.

Personally, I don’t think the fact that he cheated on his wife makes him a bad Governor, at least not necessarily. But it certainly makes him a bad guy. And from what I’ve seen, he’s not all that sorry. Mostly he’s sorry he got caught.


If you’re interested, here’s more about this moron.

Mark Sanford Mistress Apartment Photo

Mark Sanford and his puppy dog eyes – don’t you just want to give him a hug? And by “hug” I mean “kick in the nuts”.

Mark Sanford Mistress Name Revealed – Maria Belen Shapur – he was helping her with her marriage. By having sex with her. Hey, you’ve got to try, right?

Mark Sanford Emails to Mistress Maria Belen Shapur – WOW. Check this out:

“You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details…”

What a fucking idiot.

Image: BumpShack (which could be where Sanford and his ladyfriend got it on. Thank you! I’ll be here all week!)

Apr 21 2009

DadNews Daily – McDonalds Arches Crush People

This is just odd:

Russell and Carolyn Janke were injured when the iconic symbol toppled on their car.
The couple were knocked unconscious and suffered multiple injuries as they sat in the car park outside McDonald’s on the Navajo Nation reservation in Window Rock, in the US.

Police are calling it a “freak accident.” I should hope so! (Metro.co.uk via Buzzfeed) Read more »

Apr 16 2009

DadNews Daily – Cliff Clavin, Conservative?

John Ratzenberger shows up at a tea party, and Sarah Palin gets back to work. Oh, and Obama makes America want to get high. Read it all, people. Read more »

Apr 15 2009

DadNews Daily – Taxes And Tea Bags

Pirates and taxes and tea bags — oh my! Read more »

Apr 14 2009

DadNews Daily – Get Off The Facebook Dude

Wherein we mock Canada. Gently. Like lovers do. Read more »

Apr 07 2009

DadNews Daily – Demi Moore Saves A Life Via Twitter

Demi Moore, Ronald Reagan, and the iPhone. First time those three things have been mentioned in the same sentence? Probably. Read more »