Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’
Dads Get Company In The Potty, Too
In my ongoing effort to point out that dads experience many of the same things that mothers do, let’s talk about the bathroom. Yes, gentle reader, I too have been subjected to the indignities of a lack of potty privacy. Read more »
Passing On The Craziness – Moon Landing Hoaxes
One surefire method to ensure that your child grows up to be a lunatic is to expose them to conspiracy theories at a young age.
Children are impressionable. Combine that natural openness with the idea that “Dad is a figure of a Godlike knowledge” and bingo! They’ll believe what you tell them.
Now, we know this is not entirely true. When one of the first couples in my circle of friends had a son, I kept trying to tell him at a barbecue that there were aliens on the roof. He just looked at me and said, “No. You’re wrong,” with a big dopey grin on his face.
Luckily, the Internet offers “proof” of numerous crackpot theories. One the crackpottiest is the idea that the 1969 moon landing was faked.
One piece of “proof” is the “fact” that the flag the astronauts planted on the moon was blowing in the wind. But! There is no wind on the moon! And here is video “proof”!
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJGZte-k4G0]
Here is “We Never Went To The Moon” by UFOetry, or as I like to call it, “Moon Hoax Music You Can Dance To.”
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn6WZf_eOvE]
This is all, of course, a load of crap. In the interest of equal time, here is a clip from the show Mythbusters debunking the flag waving business.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCPIchZDSr4]
There’s lots more from both sides, of course. For anti-hoax material, check out the moontrue channel on YouTube. But what fun is that? Wouldn’t it be much better to have your son or daughter grow up just like Realitysurfer, who actually took the time to confront Buzz Aldrin and ask him: why should we believe that you were on the moon? Where is your proof, sir?
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9pQ1gWzs40]
So if you want your kid to grow up to be a crazy person, try showing them all of this “proof.” That way you can support them financially forever! Won’t that be fun?
Image: Archive.org
Tip of the Day – Exercising Parental Restraint
There are many things that we want to say but don’t. This is true of everyone but it is particularly true of parents.
For example:
My son says, “I wish you could walk two puffles at once.”
What I want to say:
“I don’t give a crap about Club Penguin. Please stop talking to me about it. I would rather discuss almost any other topic. Stop. STOP!”
What I actually say:
“Oh yeah?”
Sometimes it’s more difficult to keep composure, but it’s worth the effort of course. Still, there will come a day — perhaps five minutes from now — when Club Penguin will be put to bed and I won’t have to hear about it. At least not until tomorrow.
Image: Amazon
(Note: The image has nothing to do with this post, except that it has the word “restraint” in it. I’ve never seen the movie. It looks quite awful.)
People Are Spending Less This Father’s Day
The LA Times says that people might spend a little less on Dad this year.
The article quotes Tracy Mullin, president of the National Retail Federation: “Along with the usual ties, gift-givers will be looking into items that dad can enjoy with the whole family. Retailers will offer specials on new grill sets, sporting and gardening equipment and even electronics as the holiday rolls around.”
You know what I want? For you not to spend a lot of money on anything.
Getting gifts is great. But let’s be honest. I’m an adult. When I was a child, I got all excited about my birthday. Oooo! I’m getting presents! What’d you get me? Huh? Huh?
Now that I’m older? I’d rather save the cash.
Don’t get me wrong, family o’mine. I’ll be very happy with whatever you get me. But please don’t feel like you have to get me anything, especially something that costs a lot of money. My favorite Father’s Day gift so far is a bookmark I received from my oldest son back when he was in nursery school. It’s a print of his actual foot, laminated, with a little poem on it that I can’t remember at the moment. (Getting older sucks.) But even writing about it now, I’m getting a little verklempt. (“The Spanish Inquisition was neither Spanish, nor an inquisition… discuss.”) It cost nothing. (Well, there was tuition for the nursery school. But that wasn’t explicitly for the bookmark.)
As for the suggestions from Tracy Mullin of the National Retail Federation, let say this. Ties? Nah. Any tie that fits into the category of “I can afford this” is probably not worth buying. Maybe if it’s funny. But otherwise, anyone who wears a tie on a regular basis probably knows what he likes, and unless you know what that is, don’t get involved. Even if you DO know what type of tie dad likes, what kind of present is that? Why not get him some nice boxer shorts? That’s both lame AND non-traditional.
As for “gifts the whole family can enjoy” — what is this, Homer’s bowling ball redux? (For the uninitiated, in the “Life on the Fast Lane” episode of “The Simpsons”, Homer buys Marge a bowling ball, thinking that she will give it to him because she doesn’t enjoy bowling. She responds by taking bowing lessons from a guy named Jacques, with whom she almost has an affair. Good times, good times.) A “gift for the whole family” is not a gift for dad. Can you imagine if someone said the same thing about getting gifts for mom? There woud be protests. Mommy Bloggers would be up in arms. Public apologies would be demanded, and offered. An outcry not seen since that stupid Motrin ad. Getting dad a grill is like getting mom an iron. Try that one next Mother’s Day. Then take a picture of the iron-shaped imprint on your head and send it to me.
So buy dad someting if you want to but don’t feel like you have to spend a lot of money. At the same time, don’t buy him something just because it’s cheap. If it feels like a cheap gift, if probably is. If you want to get him something nice without spending a lot, how about a day of rest and relaxation? Works for me.
Americans expected to scrimp a bit on Father’s Day | California Consumer | Los Angeles Times.
Making Lists When You Have Kids
When someone makes a list of things to do, the assumption is that those things will get done. Maybe not right away, but the point of making the list is to remind yourself of things that you want to do.
Passive Resistance
Passive Resistance:
For Ghandi, it was an effective form of protest. Read more »
Clean Plate Club Question
Clean Plate Club – does telling kids to finish their meal no matter what encourage overeating?
