Author Archive
Estranged Father Upset To Find Out His Daughter Was a Hooker
This sounds like an Onion headline, but it’s not. 34-year-old Dr Brooke Magnanti announced that she was the blogger Belle de Jour, and now her estranged father is upset to find out that his daughter was a hooker.
I hadn’t heard about this, but it appears that Dr. Magnanti was living the life of a prostitute in order to pay for her education. I guess it worked; she’s a doctor now. The blog became a book, Belle de Jour: Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl, which probably made her a few bucks as well. Her father, Paul Magnanti, told London’s Daily Telegraph the following: “It’s broken my heart. No parent wants to hear that. I was very proud when she got her PhD. She is a very intelligent girl and I wish she had become well-known under different circumstances. I would rather things had worked out differently but it’s her life to live. I can’t say I feel guilty. I know she makes her own choices, she is an independent person.”
Glad he doesn’t feel guilty.
But there’s more.
“We always worked and provided a good home for her. We never beat her, never argued in front of her, we didn’t get divorced until after she had graduated high school. I think we were good parents. We gave her a good education and sent her to private schools, to strict Catholic schools. But she didn’t consider herself a Catholic – she was too independent to follow the church. Throughout high school she had a normal behaviour – it’s not like she had a different boy each week. If she had a boyfriend she would often bring him to the house and I would get to meet him. They were respectful and nice.” (emphasis added)
So it was her fault. Too damn independent. Slut.
Or we could let Chris Rock say it.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tojBadSr2zI]
In addition, daddy Magnanti has a few flaws of his own. He is estranged from his daughter after a “drug problem” that he told the Telegraph is no longer an issue. You know what we say to that?
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hR5YNqE3K8]
But the real kicker is this. Paul Magnanti slept with 150 prostitutes, according to the Telegraph. He blames drugs and the fact that he was “upset” after his divorce. “After Brooke left high school and went to college, her mother and I got a divorce, which was very upsetting to me. At that point I started to see prostitutes. There were a few that I befriended and two that I had a relationship with who even moved in with me briefly. I tried to get them to stop using drugs and stop working as prostitutes. Drugs and prostitutes go hand in hand in most cases, though apparently in my daughter’s case it was quite the opposite, thankfully.”
Glad to hear that he’s so concerned with his daughter’s welfare now. And I’m not saying that he should feel like it’s all his fault. But sleeping with 150 prostitutes isn’t what you do when you’re upset after a divorce. Once or twice, OK. 150 times means you really like whores. You don’t get to wag your finger and claim that your daughter isn’t a “good Christian” after sleeping with 150 hookers.
What a shithead.
By the way, there is also the Belle de Jour movie, which stars Catherine Deneuve in her prime. Has nothing to do with this story, except that the movie is also about a hooker. Sorry, lady of the evening.
Jon Gosselin Is Still Out of His Mind
Jon and Kate Plus 8 may have been canceled but that hasn’t stopped the stream of interviews with Jon and Kate (the 8 have no comment for now). An interview on PopEater confirms that Jon Gosselin is still out of his mind.
The latest wackiness: Jon Gosselin Promises the Holidays Will Be the Same for the Kids. Dude. How is that possible? Unless he means that the holidays will be utterly bizarre, something they have been ever since the Gosselins decided to turn their lives into a TV show.
Amusingly, the dopey dad does not mention celebrating Chanukah, despite the fact that Jon Gosselin declared to ParentDish that he was now Jewish. Well, OK. Half Jewish. In fact, he even said he planned to celebrate the festival of lights, telling ParentDish: “This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I’m now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great.” (And the food. Oy! That Gefilte fish!)
Jon also told ParentDish “On Christmas, I’ll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.” But that was a whole month ago. Now he tells PopEater the following: “Christmas Eve and Christmas day are joint-shared custody days, which means we’re both in the house. So we’ll be there.”
What does this mean? That the guy is living a stream of consciousness type of life. No reflection whatsoever. He just says whatever pops into his head at the moment he is asked a question. And he gets asked questions all day long. It’s bizarre.
Look. Divorce is hard on everyone. And going through it in the public eye is even harder. But is it really necessary to do interviews constantly? Maybe it is — apparently Gosselin wants to remain on television, telling the entertainment show “The Insider” that “he plans to make TV his career,” according to Examiner.com. So keeping himself “out there” helps.
On the other hand, maybe he could just get a regular job.
Image: Amazon.com
Scientists Grow Weiner In Lab
And now, the headline men have been waiting for: “One day artificial penis tissue could be grown to help men, new findings in rabbits now suggest.”
Will the phrase “hung like a rabbit” replace “hung like a horse”?
Now. Why is this important? From an article on LiveScience:
Such methods could potentially aid men who just want to enhance their normal penises, rather than repairing any damage.
“Our intent and the goal of our work is to provide a solution for men who need penile erectile tissue for medical reasons,” Atala told LiveScience. “Of course, you cannot control how the technology is used in terms of what patients want.”
In other words, the whole point is to make it easier for men to deal with the problem of a floppy willie. It’s a problem, sure. But how much of a problem? More than, say, cancer? One wonders about the priorities of modern science.
On The Howard Stern Show on November 10, Howard wondered if this meant that one day men could have a penis of any size they wished. A noble goal, sure. But c’mon. Sex is incredibly important but sometimes it seems like there’s an awful lot of focus on the male ding-dong.
Source: LiveScience (via Robin’s News on The Howard Stern Show)
Image: Archive.org
Windows Is Still Relevant In a Bad Way
With the release of Windows 7, I realized that I completely skipped Windows Vista, and will likely avoid Windows 7 as well. I bought a Macbook a couple of years ago and found that I preferred it. To be fair, my last Windows PC was an IBM Thinkpad T40, which was one of the last models actually made by IBM before they sold their computer business to Lenovo. So I’m not using cutting-edge hardware. I liked that laptop, but eventually Windows XP slowed to a crawl, and rather than deal with a re-install, I moved most of my work online (not too tough if you blog for a living) and started using my Mac for everything.
So what’s the point? There is one game that my son likes that requires a Windows PC. I tried to install Windows on the older Macbook he usually uses but I couldn’t get it to recognize the CD as a boot disc. (*yawn*) So he uses the Thinkpad. For this one game.
Just now, as he was happily playing away, Windows decided that an update was SO IMPORTANT that it MUST REBOOT. It was one of the “I’m going to reboot in 5 minutes” and if you click “reboot later”, it reminds you in five minutes and starts another five minute countdown. In this case, “later” means “really really soon.”
I was reminded of the old Apple TV ad where a dad tries to show his son some dinosaurs on a PC. Dad: “Reconfigure jumpers and dipswitches…” Son: “Where’s the dinosaurs, dad?” Eventually the kid leaves to go to the neighbors because “they have a Mac.” (The ad, if you’re curious, is called Nightmare After Christmas.)
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6p2uzPFg74]
I don’t want to sound like a iHole here. Apple is not perfect. But Windows seems to have these little irritating traits — annoyances, if you prefer — that make using it an unnecessarily frustrating experience. I doubt Windows 7 will eliminate them. And you know what? Windows XP, while mostly good, was annoying enough that I bailed on the whole product line. So I may never find out.
(For other Apple ads, visit The Apple Museum’s Great Apple Ads.)
Image: Clippy Death from Annoyances.org
Balloon Boy Rap Video
Falcon Heene, aka Balloon Boy, has a rap video. Sort of.
Falcon’s dad is Richard Heene. The family appeared on ‘Wife Swap’ awhile back. Apparently this video features all three Heene brothers rapping. Really.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmlBPAY90MM]
So… Maybe sending a kid up in a balloon isn’t all that out of character for the Heene family.
Hopefully the kid is all right. This is a strange story.
For more about the Heene family, check out this post on Babble’s Famecrawler.
Source: NewsBizarre
Christina Aguilera and Her Jew Husband
My headline here is intended to be sarcastic. Here is what I’m responding to:
Christina Aguilera fell in love with and actually married her fuzzy-face geeky manager Jordan Bratman. Why? Good question. Maybe she liked his managerial skills or the way he balanced her books?
(via The Envelope/LATimes.com, “Hollywood’s Luckiest Guys”)
Now. I ask you. If Ms. Aguilera had married a Black man, and the L.A. Times wrote “Maybe she likes fried chicken and watermelon”, would they have gotten away with it? Of course not. And yes, I realize that a chicken/watermelon comment is far more offensive than what the L.A. Times actually wrote. I think the “balanced her books” thing is supposed to mean that members of the tribe (aka Jews), of which Bratman is one, possess good accounting skills.
This is not to imply that Bratman isn’t lucky. He’s lucky as all hell. Aguilera is hot, successful, talented, and hot. I mean, look at this (videos kind of safe for work, but actually, probably not):
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXRXKeSgyOE]
Or this:
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktr6FRC_MLA]
So yes. He’s a lucky guy. But what does his Hebrew heritage have to do with anything?
Chris Hansen Confronts Roman Polanski
In case you haven’t seen this, you should. Very well done.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E41XkUXg2a0]
It also shows what an incredible pig Polanski is. According to Movieline, the Polanski footage is from a 1987 interview with Diane Sawyer. “We were in love”? Is he insane? How can anyone defend him?
BigHollywood via UpRoxx
