Author Archive
Spencer Pratt’s Dad ‘Wishes He Had Worn A Condom’ [Quality Parenting]
If you want to see some quality parenting, look no further than Spencer Pratt’s dad. The father of the reality show nitwit says that he wishes he had worn a condom.
Well, that’s what Spencer says. Or rather what he tweeted. On Father’s Day.
According to Us Magazine, Pratt’s parents removed all photos of him from their home (via HuffPo). This, of course, may or may not be true.
What is true is that commenters at Huffington Post made the obligatory “we wish your dad had worn a condom too” joke. Which is soooo funny.
One comment was worth quoting:
Anyone consider he was at one point just a moldable blob…and those parents of his failed miserably to make him much more than that?
A good point, that. Sometimes the parents are to blame. Spencer Pratt must have had help becoming so utterly useless.
Spencer Pratt’s Dad ‘Wishes He Had Worn A Condom’ (Us Magazine via HuffPo)
Jackasses Upset About Obama Fathers Day Message
It seems that some jackasses were upset by President Obama’s Father’s Day message. What did The President say?
From the Seattle Times:
“Nurturing families come in many forms, and children may be raised by a father and mother, a single father, two fathers, a stepfather, a grandfather, or caring guardian.”
So that’s what he said. Not a big deal, right?
Oh. But it is a big deal. Like most of the things that President Obama says, this is just another step towards the dismantling of everything that makes our Great Nation great!
The outcry from two – TWO! – jackasses was enough to warrant news coverage.
The more well-known jackass to comment was American Family Association president Tim Wildmon, who, because he has no sense of humor, did not that say President Obama’s statement was wild, man. (Get it? Thank you, I’ll be here all week.) Wildmon told the AP: “This is the first time in our nation’s history that a president has used Father’s Day as an excuse to promote the radical homosexual agenda and completely redefine the word ‘family.'”
Because that’s what happened. Jackass.
The other jackass that offered trenchant commentary on this issue was Jenny Tyree, who is less well-known, at least to me.
Tyree is described as “a marriage analyst for CitizenLink, an affiliate of Focus on the Family”. CitizenLink is a web site or something. Tyree found the President’s mention of the concept of “‘two fathers’ in the proclamation” to be “very troubling”, calling it a “decision to promote a ‘motherless family.'”
Again — because that’s what he was doing. Jackass number two.
If you, like me, have no idea who Jenny Tyree is, she apparently is someone who has devoted her existence to railing against same-sex marriage. As she herself puts it:
My job is to defend one-man, one-woman marriage as God’s created intent and design for humans who are called to bear His image as male and female, and to advance marriage policies in the public arena that build on the wealth of research confirming that children, women and men thrive in stable marriages.
That sounds like a cool job! Beats working for The Post Office, know what I mean?
Nation & World | Active Father’s Day for Obama, critics | Seattle Times Newspaper
Adam and Steve DVD image via Amazon
Pokémon Mini-Comic Letters to an Absent Father
The Pokémon Mini-Comic ‘Letters to an Absent Father‘ is a bit on the sad side. Written and drawn by Mare Odomo, the mini-comic is a series of letters from Pokémon majordomo Ash Ketchum to his dad (Mr. Ketchum? Is his first name Hank?).
Wired.com says that “Nobody watched the Pokémon cartoon for pointed observations around the emotional difficulties of single-parent families.” Speak for yourself!
Most of ‘Letters to an Absent Father’ is online at mareodomo.com. If you want a print copy, here are the details. The size is 4.25 inches x 4.25 inches (“Fits in your Nintendo DS cartridge case!” – cute) Each copy costs $3; for $5, the artist will “draw you a picture on the back or on the inside.” I rarely buy stuff like this; I’m trying to purchase less physical media since it takes up too much space. (Plus I’m a cheapskate.) Still, the sales pitch is clever, and the price is about what you pay for a regular comic book. Granted, those have more pages, but try getting Neal Adams to draw you something special for only two dollars! Not gonna happen.
via Pokémon-Inspired Mini-Comic Reveals Ash’s Parental Issues | GameLife | Wired.com.
Level 2 Reader: Meet Ash (Dk Readers. Level 2) [Paperback] image via Amazon
Bob Etheridge Was Setup And Is A Schmuck [Politics]
The Bob Etheridge video was a setup. He’s still a schmuck.
As Mayor Quimby once said, it can be two things.
In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, here is a reasonably good account of the story at Huffington Post.
And here are the two videos.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZKie0Z4kaw]
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1BC34jBVo0]
Now:
The reality is that the Etheridge video was clearly a setup. This is the GOP Conservative Hive Mind version of TMZ. They create a situation and hope that someone (usually a member of the Democratic party, whom the GOP Conservative Hive Mind believes is the greatest threat to life as they know it) falls for it.
Etheridge fell for it big time. That makes him a schmuck. He might even have anger management issues. Hell, he might even be a violent maniac. But that doesn’t change the fact that this was clearly an ambush.
Gotcha journalism, if you will.
If it’s not a setup, why does the YouTube account hosting the videos have only two clips, both of the Etheridge incident? Why is it so well edited? Why was there someone else present with a high quality camera ready to document the whole thing? And if it wasn’t a setup, what was it? A “school project”? Give me a break. We’re stupid, but we’re not THAT stupid.
This doesn’t let Etheridge off the hook. He acted like a schmuck. But the situation was fabricated.
Also interesting is that this tactic is what Andrew Breitbart, the neocon nitwit who promoted the Etheridge video, accused the black senators of doing when they walked by Tea Party protesters. He said that by walking by them, they were attempting to provoke a response. Or as he put it on Twitter, which is where everyone knows the most trenchant political debate occurs: “Dem strategy: Coordinated bloc walks in front of ‘tea partiers’ hoping to get youtube provocation to turn tables“. (The implication that a black person walking by a Tea Party protest is something that is likely to provoke a negative response is a curious side note to Breitbart’s reasoning.)
Breitbart, of course, says that was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. So what about the Etheridge video? Which is more likely – that a Senator would be going to work and happen to walk by protesters? Or that two kids in suits with cameras happened to be waiting for a Senator?
They’re all assholes. Pick the asshole you agree with the most and vote that way, I suppose. But don’t buy into the notion that this is real. Because in all likelihood, it isn’t.
Onion Store Father’s Day Discount [Deals]
Get a discount on Father’s Day gifts from The Onion. Or as they put it:
Heartfelt Gifts For The Man Who Ruined Your Life. 15% Off With Code BASTARD.
Heh heh. Bastard.
Men Bragging About Having More Kids
From the New York Times, here are some men bragging about having more kids:
“One of them said proudly, ‘I have three children,'” Dr. Fischer recalled. “The other one replied, ‘Well, I have four children.’
“Some men might talk about their Porsches,” she added. “These men were boasting about their number of children.”
These particular men are scientists. Apparently they behave very much like male Barbary macaques, primates who will bring a child to see another male when they need something, because babies have “the downy black fur and wrinkly pinkish face that adult male macaques find impossible to resist.” It doesn’t even matter if it’s their own baby.
Also of interest:
“Scientists have learned…that the male pipefish — which, like his seahorse relatives, famously becomes pregnant and gives birth to live young — is both more generous and more calculatedly harsh toward his offspring than previously believed, able to fine-tune the flow of nutrients to his gestating babies depending on how he feels about their mother.”
OK, pregnant guys? Yes. It is real. And feeding the kids based on how he feels about mom? I know a few guys like that.
Paternal Bonds, Special and Strange (New York Times)
