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This is not a good reason to have a baby

Currently at the Top of the Charts on Reddit:

If i get my wife pregnant around next week, i will get a 2 week paternity leave during world cup next year from Showerthoughts

Read the comments. They funny.

Example:

And you’ll have a brand new alarm clock to wake you up at 3AM to watch the game, depending on what time zone you’re in.

Ha, amateurs. You just sleep at night like normal and when the wife says “it’s your turn” you roll over and act like your the heaviest sleeper in the universe. Totally unrelated to why I’m divorced, she said I didn’t listen or something.

Maybe it’s just ‘cuz my work gave me a month paid paternity leave but I loved the newborn age. They sleep like 18 hours a day. And no real complicated needs. Cuddles, food, diaper, burp, etc. It’s not like they wake up from a nightmare with an existential question like “What happens when we die? How do we know nightmares aren’t real and this is just a dream…”Admittedly even when they are sleeping all the time when they are up won’t necessarily coincide with when you may have wanted to be up, but so long as you nap when they do it’s awesome.
I miss naps..

I miss naps too.

Also, warning: some of the comments are nasty. But, you know, reddit, Internet, whatevers. There’s some good stuff too. Enjoy.

Temporary Reddit Rules For DadJokes

Reddit is kind of the Amazon.com of user-generated content. There’s a category for almost everything. Including (drum roll) dad jokes.

In the words of Dana Carvey doing Johnny Carson, I did not know that.

Anyway, at the moment there are some rules in place for posting dad jokes.

Starting on the 1st of December and running until the 10th, /r/dadjokes will be self-post only. This 10 day trial is being conducted to measure the overall effect on post quality. We hope to see a reduction in posts that exist purely for karma-gaming, and an increase in posts that represent our favourite dad jokes and stories.

 

Got that? I think it means the powers that be at Reddit (/r/bosses perhaps?) want people to submit actual jokes/stories about dads rather than links to jokes/stories about dads. I am willing to admit that I could be totally wrong here but I think that’s what is going on.

UPDATE: I read more of the text on the page (I know, crazy, right?) and found this, which offers more of an explanation:

As of this time there are no strict formatting requirements that you must adhere to.
Only self-posts are allowed from Dec. 1 to Dec. 10th
A couple of suggestions to follow:
Leave the punchline out of the title!
Preferred to be a joke your actual father said.
Tag [NSFW] or [NSFL] if ever necessary.

Hit the link below for more details. And if you understand it better than I do, please leave a comment. Or throw money. Either one is fine.

Hi Hungry, it’s Dad. I have an important update for you. : dadjokes. (Reddit)