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Son Accused Of Kidnapping Father With Machete

Next time you think your kids don’t give you enough respect, consider this tale of parental woe.

Here’s the opening paragraph of a story from the Alabama Press-Register:

DAPHNE, Alabama — Daphne police have arrested a Fairhope man on five charges including kidnapping and robbery after he allegedly used a machete to force his adoptive father to drive him to a local bank to withdraw money from his father’s bank account.

But wait. It gets better/worse. According to the extremely well-told story on AL.com, the dad kicked his allegedly wack-a-doodle son out of the car, locked the doors, which led to the kid (who is 19, so not really a kid) breaking one of the car windows. So the dad gets out of the car and his son chases him “around the bank parking lot with the machete”.

Here’s a great sentence: “Employees inside the bank noticed what was happening and called the police.” Well I would hope they noticed what was happening! Guy running around with a machete? One would imagine that doesn’t happen every day.

The son has a cross carved in his head, and the police spokesperson told the Register that “We cannot comment on the suspect’s mental health, or provide the reason he is being held without bond.” That’s OK. I think we can figure out that he’s not 100% compos mentis, if you know what I’m saying.

All kidding aside, it’s a terrible story, though a very well-written one; read the full account by Russ Henderson at AL.com. Hopefully everyone will end up all right, or as all right as they can given the circumstances. I mean, wow. And I thought Ron Reagan Jr. telling people his dad had Alzheimer’s while President was kinda mean. At least there were no weapons involved.

Fairhope man accused of using machete to kidnap father | al.com.