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Tiger Woods Emails To Rachel Uchitel

We will add “alleged emails” because there is no proof so far that these are real. But if they are, Tiger is a challenger to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford for the title of Douchiest Email Of All Time.

“I know it’s brutal on you that you can’t be with me all the time. I get it. It f***ing kills me, too. I finally found someone I connect with, someone I have never found like this. Not even at home. You want someone to witness your life. I want you to lay next to me, lay on me or where ever you want to lay. F***. Why didn’t we find each other years ago. We wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Not even at home”? Is he kidding? That’s the whole point, dude. Married men everywhere are looking at Tiger and thinking that not only did he cheat, not only did he get caught, but he PUT IT IN WRITING. And not only did he put it in writing, he wrote bullshit like this.

Well, you know. Allegedly.

Tiger Woods Emails To Rachel Uchitel (InTouch Weekly)

Pictures of Jaimee Grubbs

Here are some pictures of Jaimee Grubbs. Who is Jaimee Grubbs? She may have had an affair with Tiger Woods. Did Jaimee Grubbs, or Jamie Grubbs as some are calling her, have an affair with Tiger Woods? Can we type Jamie Grubbs and Tiger Woods affair often enough? Perhaps we already have.

Apparently Jaimee Grubbs, or Jamie Grubbs, or Jaime Grubbs, or Jamie Grubb, or whatever, once appeared on a VH1 reality show called Tool Academy. I think it wasn’t about tools. Well, not the kind of tools one buys at Home Depot. Maybe the kind of tools who shop at Home Depot. (Thank you! Tip your waitresses!)

It should be pointed out that we have no knowledge of any affair between Jaime Grubbs and Tiger Woods. We do have a link to pictures of Jaimee Grubbs at VH1.com. And we have pictures here. Look! She’s cute.

All About Jaimee Grubbs (Examiner)

Pictures of Jaimee Grubbs (VH1.com)

Jon Gosselin Is Still Out of His Mind

Jon and Kate Plus 8 may have been canceled but that hasn’t stopped the stream of interviews with Jon and Kate (the 8 have no comment for now). An interview on PopEater confirms that Jon Gosselin is still out of his mind.

The latest wackiness: Jon Gosselin Promises the Holidays Will Be the Same for the Kids. Dude. How is that possible? Unless he means that the holidays will be utterly bizarre, something they have been ever since the Gosselins decided to turn their lives into a TV show.

Amusingly, the dopey dad does not mention celebrating Chanukah, despite the fact that Jon Gosselin declared to ParentDish that he was now Jewish. Well, OK. Half Jewish. In fact, he even said he planned to celebrate the festival of lights, telling ParentDish: “This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I’m now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great.” (And the food. Oy! That Gefilte fish!)

Jon also told ParentDish “On Christmas, I’ll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.” But that was a whole month ago. Now he tells PopEater the following: “Christmas Eve and Christmas day are joint-shared custody days, which means we’re both in the house. So we’ll be there.”

What does this mean? That the guy is living a stream of consciousness type of life. No reflection whatsoever. He just says whatever pops into his head at the moment he is asked a question. And he gets asked questions all day long. It’s bizarre.

Look. Divorce is hard on everyone. And going through it in the public eye is even harder. But is it really necessary to do interviews constantly? Maybe it is — apparently Gosselin wants to remain on television, telling the entertainment show “The Insider” that “he plans to make TV his career,” according to Examiner.com. So keeping himself “out there” helps.

On the other hand, maybe he could just get a regular job.

Image: Amazon.com

Christina Aguilera and Her Jew Husband

My headline here is intended to be sarcastic. Here is what I’m responding to:

Christina Aguilera fell in love with and actually married her fuzzy-face geeky manager Jordan Bratman. Why? Good question. Maybe she liked his managerial skills or the way he balanced her books?

(via The Envelope/LATimes.com, “Hollywood’s Luckiest Guys”)

Now. I ask you. If Ms. Aguilera had married a Black man, and the L.A. Times wrote “Maybe she likes fried chicken and watermelon”, would they have gotten away with it? Of course not. And yes, I realize that a chicken/watermelon comment is far more offensive than what the L.A. Times actually wrote. I think the “balanced her books” thing is supposed to mean that members of the tribe (aka Jews), of which Bratman is one, possess good accounting skills.

This is not to imply that Bratman isn’t lucky. He’s lucky as all hell. Aguilera is hot, successful, talented, and hot. I mean, look at this (videos kind of safe for work, but actually, probably not):

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXRXKeSgyOE]

Or this:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktr6FRC_MLA]

So yes. He’s a lucky guy. But what does his Hebrew heritage have to do with anything?

Image via here

Shaq Vs. Oprah and Krispy Kremes

Shaquille O’Neal has gotten a raw deal in my opinion.

First, watch this video of Shaq trying not to eat a donut. Then we’ll talk.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YduO8-ALReA 285 247]
Read more »

Jon Gosselin Sex Tape?

This could be interesting. If it’s true.

So. How much would you pay for a tape of Jon Gosselin and Deanna Hummel making the beast with two backs? (For those of you who didn’t waste their time getting a liberal arts degree, that means having sex.) Read more »

David Beckham’s Misspelled Tattoo

So Beckham. Soccer player. (Yes, I know they call it “football” over there. But they’re wrong.) Very successful guy.

Not too bright, it seems. Read more »