Author Archive
The Empire Strikes Back Turns 30 [Things That Make Me Feel Old]
The Empire Strikes Back Turns 30 today. The 30th Anniversary of The Empire Strikes Back. Thirty years ago. This makes me feel old.
Was it really thirty years ago that I opened my big fat mouth and told people that Darth Vader was somebody’s father? Even now I can’t type the actual reveal, probably because I still feel pangs of guilt over my spoiler activities.
Ah well. My back hurts. Excuse me. Thirty years. Wow.
via The Empire Strikes Back: Happy 30th anniversary | TechRepublic Photo Gallery.
Star Wars Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980 & 2004 Versions, 2-Disc Widescreen Edition) image via Amazon.com
Brett Singer Live [Radio Show]
I’m bringing back my radio show. It used to be called Babble Talk Radio, but since I don’t work for Babble anymore, that name doesn’t really work now. For the moment I’m going with Brett Singer Live. Because it’s all about branding. Or something.
You can listen to the show right here on this page, or check out our page on BlogTalkRadio.
I’ve got a lot to say, so tune in on Friday May 21 at 12pm EST. If you can’t make it, you can listen to the archive via iTunes, or subscribe to the podcast feed.
Not Having Kids Led To Murder [Laughing Instead of Crying]
CNN is reporting that “Fertility issues were at the center of former TV chef Juan-Carlos Cruz’s motivation in the alleged murder-for-hire plot to kill his wife“. In other words, not having kids led to murder.
See, I always thought it was the other way around.
This isn’t a funny story, of course, and that joke was in poor taste. But whatever. Let’s think about this for a minute.
I admit that I can’t completely relate to people who are desperate to have children and are unable to do so. I have two kids, and no fertility treatments were involved. Part of me doesn’t get the idea of fertility treatments — some people go through a lot in order to have a child themselves rather than, say, adopting, or just not having kids. But in the interest of trying to be an enlightened live and let live kind of guy (ha ha) I’m willing to accept the idea that there are feeling I can’t comprehend because I’ve never been in the same situation.
That said, the idea that not being able to have a child would drive a man to hire someone to kill his wife seems far-fetched. It was SO IMPORTANT to have kids? Again, why not adopt? How long are you going to try? Ever heard of Kate Gosselin? She did some sort of procedure and ended up with six more kids. SIX. KIDS. The Octo-mom? Hello? Even twins seems like a lot to me.
Hell, one kid is a lot. Maybe, before desperately trying every fertility treatment in town, potential parents should spend some time with a large family. Preferably one with very young children. Who don’t sleep. And talk. A lot. Maybe one of the kids is a biter. Another one wets the bed. Nightly. Still another likes to flush things, like mom’s shoes, down the toilet. At least once a week.
Maybe then they would see that having kids? Not the only way to go through life.
Now, a disclaimer of sorts. I love my children. I wanted to have them. They are cute, they are annoying, blah blah blah. But in the same way that it shouldn’t matter if a woman in public life has kids, and that we should stop referring to single women as unmarried as if being married is a goal for a woman, it would be nice if people would stop thinking about children as something that they need. You aren’t “childless.” You just don’t have kids. Or maybe whether or not you have children is even an issue.
I personally don’t even like to ask people if they plan on having kids. Which I guess is a good thing, since, according to CNN, not having kids can lead to murder.
Sources: Inability to have child behind TV chef’s murder scheme – CNN.com
Does It Matter If A Woman In Public Life Has Kids? – Jezebel
All the Single Ladies – Maureen Dowd, New York Times
Jon and Kate Plus 8 DVD Image via Amazon.com
Are We Done With Lance Armstrong Now? [Rants]
According to published reports, professional bike rider Floyd Landis has admitted that he was doping and claims that Lance Armstrong was doing it too. My question is: are we done with Lance Armstrong now?
I’ve never liked Lance Armstrong. There was always something about him. Maybe it’s the way he uses the fact that he had cancer as a marketing tool. Or the fact that nobody ever says what a douche the guy is. I mean, he was making out with an Olsen twin. What the hell? That’s douchey behavior.
But nobody calls him on it. Why not? Because he’s Lance Armstrong. He only has one testicle. (Note: I’m not sure how many testicles he has. Ask the Olsen twins.)
He dumped Sheryl Crow, and it could be because she had breast cancer. The rumor, if I recall correctly, was that she wanted kids and he didn’t. Then he went out and had kids. Methinks Lance just wanted to bang younger women.
But he had cancer! And made those rubber bracelets!
And he’s such a champion! He won all those bike races! No way was he aided by drugs. The French are just jealous. They’re still mad because we saved their ass in WWII. Amirite?
Now it appears that Lance Armstrong may have been lying all along. Landis is definitely lying; he’s either lying doping now, or he was lying about not doping before. Since only high school students trying to look cool lie about taking drugs, I’m going to go with the latter.
Landis is definitely an enormous jackass. In a 2007 New York Times Magazine story, Landis denied doing anything that was against cycling rules. The article talked about his “supporters”; I think some even gave him money to help with his legal fees. Legal fees to defend himself against the allegations that he had done bad things in order to win a bike race.
I’m not someone who spends a lot of time worrying about performance enhancing drugs in sports. I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I do think there is a tremendous amount of hypocrisy in the sports world when it comes to this topic. Brett Favre couldn’t take the field without popping pain pills. Um, hello? If you’re going to put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds because he couldn’t have hit home runs without HGH, shouldn’t you do the same thing for Brett Favre’s consecutive game streak? Oh, but the pain pills didn’t help him play better. True. They helped him play, period. But hey, you know. He’s Brett Favre. That makes it okay.
I could give two shits about cycling. But that’s not the point. The point is the lying, the repeated lying, and the lack of anyone giving a shit about telling the truth.
If it turns out that Lance Armstrong is a lying sack of shit, what will that mean for his “legacy”? Will people burn their rubber bracelets in outrage? Will he have to give back all the money he earned from being a “hero” and a “champion”?
Nah. Because nobody cares. They believed whatever he said, reporters bought into it, and that’s it. It’s old news, right? Who cares? What’s done is done. Besides, he’s really sorry. The French made him do it.
Deadspin points out that “No proof is offered, as of yet. Just the word of a man who has nothing left to lose.” That is, no proof that Armstrong did anything, and Landis has nothing left to lose. For the record, I still think Lance Armstrong is a dick, and that he gets a pass when he does douchey stuff like making out with an Olsen twin, or dumping Sheryl Crow because she has cancer and is too old for his one-balled self, or using his cancer as a marketing tool. But it’s possible that he wasn’t lying about this.
Besides, he had CANCER. Didn’t you know? He’s such a great guy.
LeapFrog Fridge Talk Magnetic Word Play Recorder [Deals]
LeapFrog Fridge Talk Magnetic Word Play Recorder only $13.39 with free shipping at Buy.com.
Description:
Show the words you know by recording and playing back big words, opposites, rhyming words and more. With three learning modes of play including over 15 word questions, 3 playful learning songs and silly free play. Recorder attaches securely to any magnetic surface.
Sounds fun, educational AND annoying. What more could a parent want?
LeapFrog Fridge Talk Magnetic Word Play Recorder : 29113 – Buy.com.
Movies I Saw In Theaters – Love at First Bite [Movies]
There are a lot of movies I saw in theaters when I was a kid that I wouldn’t take my kids to see now. One of them is the George Hamilton / Susan St. James non-classic ‘Love at First Bite.’
‘Love at First Bite‘ is a parody of Dracula movies. I saw it in theaters, despite being about 8 years old at the time. Either my mother or my father took me, I don’t remember. Probably my father, since he was more likely to take me to something like this.
I don’t remember much about ‘Love at First Bite’. Judging by the clip, it looks like there wasn’t anything in there that was overly questionable for a young man to see or hear. I think I heard an s-word. Ooo! They say “shit” in the animated ‘Transformers’ movie and ‘Short Circuit’, both movies that were intended for kid audiences.
So why wouldn’t I take my kids to see ‘Love at First Bite’?
For one thing, there are a lot more choices now. Tons of movies specifically meant for kids, and also all of the films and television shows that I love and now want to watch with my children.
Also, the way we consume media has changed. Going to a movie theater is no longer an easy way to spend a couple of hours with a child. Well, it’s still easy, but it costs a fickin’ fortune. In Manhattan, adult movie tickets are typically $12.50, kids are about $7.50. That’s too much.
If ‘Love at First Bite’ were made today, it would probably have a lot more sex and explicit language. This comment from YouTube is telling (and unlike most comments from YouTube, doesn’t call anyone gay):
Ah yes, I do SO miss the days when comedy could just be silly and funny and didn’t have to be “edgy”….thanks? for this blast from the past !
‘Edgy’ is rightly in quotes. The word is so overused that it doesn’t mean anything anymore.
That’s from ‘The Hangover’, which is rated R. ‘Love at First Bite‘ was rated PG. If they remade ‘Love at First Bite‘ today, I imagine they would go for an R. You know. To get the kids in.
To be clear, I’m not knocking ‘The Hangover’ or the current wave of R-rated comedies. I actually think it’s better for movies like that to get a R-rating, which is meant to tell parents that a movie isn’t appropriate for children under 17. That doesn’t stop parents from bringing kids to movies like ‘Kick-Ass’ of course, but that — stupid parents — is a different topic.
I also don’t think my kids would be damaged by seeing ‘Love at First Bite‘. I think I’m more uptight about what they see, although my butt enclenches when it comes to superhero movies. Both of my boys have seen ‘Iron Man’; the youngest hasn’t seen ‘Iron Man 2’ because I decided it was too much for him (he’s pretty young). A lot of that is because of the intensity of ‘Iron Man 2’. For much of the movie, Jon Favreau puts his foot on the gas and doesn’t let up for long stretches, which was a lot of fun to watch but could potentially freak out a little kid.
That’s something that older movies didn’t do as much. We watched ‘Star Wars’ recently, and I was pleasantly surprised by a couple of things. One was how well it holds up. (I did have to explain to my son that Han shot first, despite what George Lucas edited into the movie after the fact.) Another was how it manages to be fun and exciting without being INTENSE. Or, to borrow from a YouTube commenter, ‘edgy’.
In some ways, that lack of ‘edge’ makes ‘Star Wars’ more kid-friendly than a lot of what passes for kiddie fare these days. ‘Star Wars’ doesn’t insert overly intense music during key scenes or employ schlocky horror movie techniques intended to get the heart pumping. It just starts a good story.
‘Love at First Bite’ (although I admit I can’t remember a lot of it) does the same kind of thing. That’s probably one of the reasons I can’t remember it. It wasn’t traumatizing. Another movie, ‘The Twilight Zone’, I walked out of and will never forget. The girl with no mouth. Here’s the clip. I just watched it for the first time since 1983 when I saw it in theaters, and I really regret doing so. Um, here’s the clip. But be warned. It’s still really fucking scary.
That’s a horror movie, of course. But my point is that if a movie doesn’t have stuff like that in it, scenes that are intended to be frightening or ‘edgy’, odds are it won’t be something that your cause your kids to flip out.
(Shit. I can’t believe I watched that clip of the girl with no mouth from ‘The Twilight Zone’. I’m really not happy right now. Dammit.)
A better way to look at this could be that if I were a parent in 1979, I should be OK with taking my kid to see ‘Love at First Bite’ in theaters. But today’s equivalent of ‘Love at First Bite’, whatever that is, not so much.
Love at First Bite DVD image from Amazon.com
Dio on South Park [RIP Dio]
This clip of Ronnie James Dio on South Park serves two purposes.
One, it’s a video of the metal legend, who just died of stomach cancer. (RIP Dio.) Two, it makes fun of home-schooling.
via RIP Ronnie James Dio AV Club Newswire
Dio – Clips – South Park Studios
Dio Holy Diver CD image via Amazon.com
