May 10, 2014

Let Men Take Care of the Kids

I’m watching a debate on BBC World News Intelligence2 (squared), World of Debate. The topic is “Can the hand that rocks the cradle also rock the boardroom?” Two women are arguing no, two others are arguing yes. Luckily some people are making the point that it is possible to let men take care of the children and run the household.
I’ve been beating this drum for a long time. The question that women can or can’t “have it all” is one that men seem not to have to answer. That pressure can come from women themselves.
Nobody can “have it all.” I don’t have it all. Maybe the supremely wealthy and well-adjusted can come close, but the phrasing itself is unrealistic in any context.
Attitudes badly need to change. Even the most negative members of this particular panel agree that change is happening, albeit at a “glacial pace” according to one of the speakers.
“We’ve got to stop beating ourselves up,” says one woman on the show. (They aren’t putting their names on the screen; I’ll try to look it up later.) I could not agree with this more. I’m not a perfect father, and that has nothing to do with work. Actually, I’m going to correct myself. Sometimes it is about work. If I have a tight deadline for an article that sometimes means ignoring my kids while I pound away at my laptop. I used to feel awful when I did this, and I still feel some guilt whenever it happens. I can only imagine how much worse a woman with a busy work schedule feels. The expectations are so different.
I’ve said it so many times but it bears repeating: there will never be a magazine called Working Father. There is one called Working Mother. Think about that.


This post was written by Daddy

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