Posts Tagged ‘wtf’
Dad Says Son Is Not A Terrorist, Just A Little Dopey [I f---ed up]
If there’s one thing a father longs for, it’s the ability to tell a reporter that his son is not a terrorist.
A Delta flight from Paris was diverted to Bangor, Maine, according to ABC News, when a passenger named Derek Stansberry “created a disturbance”. Derek is from Apollo, Florida. I don’t know why, but that amuses me. Derek is in FBI custody, according to ABC.
So whom do you call when a 26-year-old does something incredibly stupid, like taking pills before boarding a plane, then passing a note to a flight attendant that says “Forgive me, I f—ed up, I’m sorry,” followed by telling federal air marshals that you have a bomb? Duh. You call his dad.
Stansberry’s father, Richard, told ABC News his son is a former Air Force reservist. The elder Stansberry said he was notified late Tuesday by authorities that his son was involved in the incident.
“He’s not a terrorist,” said the elder Stansberry of his son. “I just found out and I am in total shock,” he said.
According to ABC, the FBI says that Derek Stansberry did not have any explosives on him. They also said Stansberry had lied about having a fake passport.
Video report from ABC News:
via Delta Flight 273: No Bomb Found on Diverted Delta Flight After FBI Investigation – ABC News
John Tesh Dated Oprah Until He Realized She Was Black?
Have you heard this one — that John Tesh dated Oprah until he realized she was black?
Apparently that’s what Kitty Kelly’s new unauthorized biography of Miss Winfrey claims. It’s the wording that caught my eye:
[The book] goes on to say Tesh abruptly ended the relationship one night when he noticed their contrasting skin colors and couldn’t handle being in an interracial relationship.
I always thought Tesh was a little weird, but if this is true, he wins the Weirdest Dude Ever award. He did, apparently, confirm that they used to date, but hasn’t commented on the rest of the story, except to say that he and O are still friends. I suppose that makes it less likely that he one day turned to Winfrey and said:
“Oh my gosh! I just realized something… you’re not white! We can’t date anymore. Dang! Too bad, I was starting to really like you, Opera…” “Um, John, it’s Oprah. Not Opera.”
“That’s right. I’m sorry Opie.”
“Goodbye John.”
via Tesh confirms book report, says he dated Oprah – The Denver Post
Image via Intelligence for Your Life: Powerful Lessons for Personal Growth at Amazon.com. His next book, How To Identify People By Skin Color, is due out in the Fall.
Father and Son Charged With Robbing Pharmacy
A father and son have been charged with robbing a pharmacy in Toms River, New Jersey, according to the Asbury Park Press.
The family that steals together, stays together.
Maybe they got tired of waiting for the health care reform bill to pass?
(Image from Archive.org, from the Andy Griffith Show, an episode called The Robbery. Andy and Opie were not, as far as we know, involved in this crime.)
Father, son charged with pharmacy burglary in Toms River | APP.com | Asbury Park Press.
Reading Texts From Teenage Stars [Tongue-Clucking Pundit]
I hate to become one of the tongue-clucking pundits that I so often mock. But this is kind of gross.
Apparently Montana Tucker is a teenage singer/actress/whatever and was involved in some sort of love triangle with Adam Sevani and Miley Cyrus.
The only one of these three young people I have heard of is Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz. She’s, like, a really big star. The other two, who knows.
Anyway, the point is that supposedly these text messages were read on The Carson Daly Show. (And no, I’m not taking issue with the fact that Carson Daly has a TV show. He’s entitled to make a living even if no one watches him do it.)
Text messages from 15 and 16 year olds. Stuff like this:
Fwd: Im going to watch a show right now. but I wana be seeing u
perform…
Fwd: I don’t pay attention to that stuff. I like you, is that obvious enough?
Fwd: Email me those pics when u get homeFwd: Goodnight my orange flavored pudding cake
EWWW!
This is gross. Why is anyone interested? Why isn’t this illegal? Seriously, there is no news value to knowing that Montana Tucker might be in love with Adam Sevani as opposed to Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz, or the other way around, or whatever the hell is going on there. Seriously, I don’t want to know. And who does want to know? I guess other teenagers.
How is this different from the 50′s when people wondered whether or not Fabian was swapping spit with Annette Funicello? (Somebody must have wondered that, right?) I guess the difference is how much we know. Do we really need to see their text messages? Isn’t that just… creepy?
Here’s another thought. It’s all made up. Which would be creepier. That is, Adam Sevani (whoever the hell that is, and I could Google him but I refuse to do so on principle) or Montana Tucker, or someone on their “team” (a publicist, agent, napkin folder) fabricated this story, wrote a bunch of idiotic text messages, and then yakked about the whole thing. That would be a fake invasion of privacy.
The other difference is that now, adults are vaguely expected to know who these people are. Miley Cyrus wants to be taken seriously. I would imagine the other two dopes involved here want the same thing.
Please. Make it stop. Wait until you are at least 21 to be this annoying. And anyone intrigued by the text messages of teenagers that aren’t your own children? Keep it to yourself. You might get arrested like Pete Townshend.
Miley Cyrus? Montana Tucker? Adam Sevani? What? at The Insider.
Miley Cyrus Party In The U.S.A. Image via Amazon
Blogger Gets Death Threats Over Post [One Nation Under 12]
Really.
A Yahoo blogger gets death threats over post about the recent Vanity Fair cover.
No really. At least that’s what the New York Times says. Someone even got arrested, according to the paper of record.
I’m putting it that way for a reason. Because suspicion in this country is at an all-time high.
Anything deemed left wing or “liberal” is considered suspect in terms of its truthfulness. The same is true in reverse.
Still, this appears to be indisputable. What could possibly be written on a blog that would cause someone to get so riled up that they would threaten the life of the writer?
As the Times’ David Carr puts it, “it appears for the time being, the answer to Rodney King’s eternal question — ‘Can’t we all just get along?’ — is, well, not really.” No kidding.
Junior Seau Castrates a Horse
This should be a headline from The Onion. But it’s not.
OK, Junior (seems odd to call a grown man that but whatever) castrated the horse on his TV show, Sports Jobs, which airs on the “is that actually a” channel Versus.
But. Um. Junior Seau Castrates a Horse. Why?
Actually, there was an Onion bit that this reminds me of. In their fake TV listings section, a network was airing a show called “Would You Watch That?” “How about a bear eating a birthday cake?” the description asked. “Would you watch that?”
How about Junior Seau castrating a horse? Would you watch that?
Now you can. Who says family TV is dead?
Junior Seau Castrates a Horse — Back Porch FanHouse.
Man Killed His Father By Slapping Him
This is odd. A man killed his father by slapping him. That’s what police think anyway. The headline is “Detectives consider slaps to father lethal” and the man is being held on $1 million bail. After the slap, the father “later died of a brain injury” according to HeraldNet.
So next time your kid wants to slap you, be careful. Actually, if your kid is slapping you, you should consider that serious even if it doesn’t lead to brain injury.
Rihanna Wearing Military Mickey Mouse Ears
Oh, and apparently her nipple is showing. Not posting the pics because they aren’t ours, but here’s what TMZ says:
While on the set of her latest video outside L.A. the other day, Rihanna wore her favorite Mickey Mouse ears helmet and unknowingly flashed one of her weapons.
By “weapons” they mean her, ahem. Cans.
Then they said this:
RiR’s bullet bra proved she’s armed and scandalous.
I have no idea what that means.
She’s a lovely young woman but the Mickey Mouse ears helmet is odd. I guess being super hot and having a good voice isn’t enough anymore.
Rihanna Gets Nip Slipped a Mickey (TMZ)
Balloon Boy Rap Video
Falcon Heene, aka Balloon Boy, has a rap video. Sort of.
Falcon’s dad is Richard Heene. The family appeared on ‘Wife Swap’ awhile back. Apparently this video features all three Heene brothers rapping. Really.
So… Maybe sending a kid up in a balloon isn’t all that out of character for the Heene family.
Hopefully the kid is all right. This is a strange story.
For more about the Heene family, check out this post on Babble’s Famecrawler.
Source: NewsBizarre
Ernie Anastos And The Chicken
There are many great screw ups on television, especially on the nightly news. It’s live. Something slips out. It happens. But this one by New York anchorman Ernie Anastos might be the best one ever.
While doing the Fox 5 news broadcast, Anastos turned to the weatherman and said “Keep fucking that chicken.” He did. Listen:
He apologized, saying that he meant to say “keep plucking that chicken.” I make that mistake all the time.
Via Buzzfeed
