Posts Tagged ‘sports’
Are We Done With Lance Armstrong Now? [Rants]
According to published reports, professional bike rider Floyd Landis has admitted that he was doping and claims that Lance Armstrong was doing it too. My question is: are we done with Lance Armstrong now?
I’ve never liked Lance Armstrong. There was always something about him. Maybe it’s the way he uses the fact that he had cancer as a marketing tool. Or the fact that nobody ever says what a douche the guy is. I mean, he was making out with an Olsen twin. What the hell? That’s douchey behavior.
But nobody calls him on it. Why not? Because he’s Lance Armstrong. He only has one testicle. (Note: I’m not sure how many testicles he has. Ask the Olsen twins.)
He dumped Sheryl Crow, and it could be because she had breast cancer. The rumor, if I recall correctly, was that she wanted kids and he didn’t. Then he went out and had kids. Methinks Lance just wanted to bang younger women.
But he had cancer! And made those rubber bracelets!
And he’s such a champion! He won all those bike races! No way was he aided by drugs. The French are just jealous. They’re still mad because we saved their ass in WWII. Amirite?
Now it appears that Lance Armstrong may have been lying all along. Landis is definitely lying; he’s either lying doping now, or he was lying about not doping before. Since only high school students trying to look cool lie about taking drugs, I’m going to go with the latter.
Landis is definitely an enormous jackass. In a 2007 New York Times Magazine story, Landis denied doing anything that was against cycling rules. The article talked about his “supporters”; I think some even gave him money to help with his legal fees. Legal fees to defend himself against the allegations that he had done bad things in order to win a bike race.
I’m not someone who spends a lot of time worrying about performance enhancing drugs in sports. I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I do think there is a tremendous amount of hypocrisy in the sports world when it comes to this topic. Brett Favre couldn’t take the field without popping pain pills. Um, hello? If you’re going to put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds because he couldn’t have hit home runs without HGH, shouldn’t you do the same thing for Brett Favre’s consecutive game streak? Oh, but the pain pills didn’t help him play better. True. They helped him play, period. But hey, you know. He’s Brett Favre. That makes it okay.
I could give two shits about cycling. But that’s not the point. The point is the lying, the repeated lying, and the lack of anyone giving a shit about telling the truth.
If it turns out that Lance Armstrong is a lying sack of shit, what will that mean for his “legacy”? Will people burn their rubber bracelets in outrage? Will he have to give back all the money he earned from being a “hero” and a “champion”?
Nah. Because nobody cares. They believed whatever he said, reporters bought into it, and that’s it. It’s old news, right? Who cares? What’s done is done. Besides, he’s really sorry. The French made him do it.
Deadspin points out that “No proof is offered, as of yet. Just the word of a man who has nothing left to lose.” That is, no proof that Armstrong did anything, and Landis has nothing left to lose. For the record, I still think Lance Armstrong is a dick, and that he gets a pass when he does douchey stuff like making out with an Olsen twin, or dumping Sheryl Crow because she has cancer and is too old for his one-balled self, or using his cancer as a marketing tool. But it’s possible that he wasn’t lying about this.
Besides, he had CANCER. Didn’t you know? He’s such a great guy.
Junior Seau Castrates a Horse
This should be a headline from The Onion. But it’s not.
OK, Junior (seems odd to call a grown man that but whatever) castrated the horse on his TV show, Sports Jobs, which airs on the “is that actually a” channel Versus.
But. Um. Junior Seau Castrates a Horse. Why?
Actually, there was an Onion bit that this reminds me of. In their fake TV listings section, a network was airing a show called “Would You Watch That?” “How about a bear eating a birthday cake?” the description asked. “Would you watch that?”
How about Junior Seau castrating a horse? Would you watch that?
Now you can. Who says family TV is dead?
Junior Seau Castrates a Horse — Back Porch FanHouse.
Wes Welker’s Dad Speaks For Him
I’m a Wes Welker fan; he was on my fantasy team this year, and always seemed like a decent enough guy. (That is, he wasn’t pulling guns on people like Gilbert Arenas. I know, different sport.) And it certainly sucked for him (and the Patriots) that he blew out his leg in the Week 17 game. But I always find it interesting when a player’s dad speaks for him.
“Not too good,” Welker's dad, Leland, told the Boston Globe. “We're sick. We're absolutely sick. We take all those hits and stuff all season long. And then just one fluke cut, and he just blows it out.”
Maybe this is because I can’t imagine my dad doing something like, and not only because he’s dead and I never played sports. Even if that’s it, it seems odd that a professional athlete would have his father speaking for him. It happens more often than you might think. Phil Simms did it for his son Chris, although that was a little different since Phil actually played football and is on TV as an analyst. Rex Grossman’s dad was yakking when his boy was about to get spanked in the Super Bowl. It’s one thing when the player is in high school or even college, but by the time he’s a pro, one would think dad isn’t in the picture quite as much. But he is.
via Wes Welker Carted Off With Knee Injury — NFL FanHouse
Comment from ProFootballTalk
We’re going to start posting our favorite comments. This has nothing to do with being a dad, it’s just something I find amusing. dADD, folks. I see it, I post it.
A blog post on ProFootballTalk.com called Del Rio throws barb at Fred Taylor before reunion prompted this gem:
chapnasty says: December 22, 2009 5:20 PM
Not really much here. Just another post trying to turn something little into something huge. Do you guys ever get tired of hearing your readers tell you that you suck?
Who could ever get tired of that?
Comment from Steelers-Browns Game
so many breaks in the action ruins the game i wish it wasnt all about the money
Clemson Fan Needs To Calm Down
Complete with ESPN commentators mocking him. With a telestrator. Good times, good times.
Upset Clemson Fan Overreacting to the Georgia Tech Loss (Youtube via Deadspin)
Why Serena Williams Losing Might Be A Good Thing
I don’t understand tennis. But if I’m right in my analysis that Serena Williams lost the chance to defend her U.S. Open title because of a temper tantrum, maybe her losing was a good thing.
I’ve been saying for years that athletes who act like 4 year olds should be penalized. We all laugh when a baseball manager kicks dirt on an umpire, and its funny to watch. But it’s bad sportsmanship. Even more idiotic is when a batter argues balls and strikes. There is no provision for an umpire to change a balls and strikes call, which means that arguing is pointless. There is a school of thought that says if you get in the ump’s head, perhaps you get the call next time. I would argue that for every call you get because of that, you lose two more because the umpire has decided not to reward the crappy behavior of petulant bratty rich kids, aka the players.
Athletes are generally millionaires several times over. Does that mean they shouldn’t care about a bad call? Of course not. But what we like to call “fire” or “desire to win” can also be viewed as a simple lack of self-control.
When Joe Wilson shouted “You lie!” at the President of the Untied States, he said that he let his “emotions” get the best of him. Why does anyone accept that as an excuse? Don’t we expect our children to be able to control themselves enough to not throw a block at another child because they were called, say, a baloney head? The issue at hand may be more important to grown-ups, but if you asked the average four year old which was more important, a perceived playground slight or national health care, I think we all know what the answer would be.
Serena Williams reportedly told a line judge that “You don’t fucking know me! You’re lucky I’m not shoving this ball down your throat!” While no athlete or sports fan wants to see an event decided by a technicality, perhaps Ms. Williams and other athletes will stop and think a moment before unleashing invective at the officials. Take a breath. Calm down. Might this take a bit off their game? Maybe. Or it might get them to focus on playing, rather than degrading someone who is only trying to do their job.
Commenters on Williams’ web site are divided, with some saying that she should apologize, some saying she did nothing wrong. One seems to blame the line judge for causing Serena’s outburst. Um, no. She did it. Whether she committed a fault or not (like I said, I don’t understand tennis) is irrelevant. Act like a grown-up. Control yourself.
Here is video of the outburst for anyone who missed it:
Serena has reportedly been fined $10,000. I have no idea if that’s a big amount for tennis or not. She can certainly afford it. Whether or not it will drive the message home is something else. Judging by her reaction at the press conference, I’m guessing no.
Image: SportsCracklePop. The pic is from May of 2009, and apparently she told her opponent “I’m going to get you in the locker room for that, you don’t know me.” So the whole yelling at people thing isn’t exactly new.
DadNews Daily July 26, 2009
- GM is pulling their sponsorship of the Buick Open. This is a big deal for the PGA Tour. If I cared more about golf, this would bother me. (ESPN)
- Michael Jackson may have some other son as a result of a one-night stand. The least believable part of this story is the part about Michael Jackson having a one-night stand with a woman. Sorry about that. The Sun has video of the kid, Omer Bhatt, who at 25 years old isn’t a kid anymore. They say he has an “uncanny resemblance” to Michael Jackson. The fact that he’s moonwalking while wearing a costume and hairstyle that is remniscent of Jackson helps the uncaniness. If this is all a money grab, I’d say it’s quite canny, actually. (The Sun)
- A father in Iran was arrested for mourning his son, who was shot during a riot in Tehran. Awful. (L.A. Times)
DaddyTips Show and Tell for July 24, 2009
- Is Archie Andrews hung like a horse? Like, Minnesota Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe size? You have to wonder what the artist was thinking when they drew this page. (Buzzfeed)
- More nerdy stuff from Buzzfeed: the cast of Star Wars, in a photo from a long time ago, in this galaxy. It’s Vader and Chewie without their costumes. In a suit and tie. Weird. (Buzzfeed)
- I can accept that I don’t understand fashion. (Shocking, I know.) But $895 for a baby carrier? What’s wrong with one of the bags you get from the supermarket? (Pursuitist)
Golfer Anthony Kim Hit Spectator In The Butt
With his ball. His GOLF ball. You filthy-minded so and so.
