Posts Tagged ‘money’
Permit me to enter Borscht Belt Comic mode for a moment:
You think your wife spends money? Listen to this. Elizabeth Manchester, the wife of “Papa” Doug Manchester, is getting a divorce. Papa Doug donated $125,000 to help pass Prop 8 in California. The bill that says gay people can’t get married. Cuz he believes in the sanctity of marriage! Right? So ok, they’re getting a divorce. Elizabeth says that she needs $131,625 a month. A MONTH! SO. What’s she spending it on? “$20,000 on clothing and jewelry, $7,000 in electric bills, $1,700 in groceries, $4,901 in household supplies, tuition at three private schools for some of the couple’s 10 grand children, $7,500 in salary for the full-time groundskeeper and housekeeper, $1,200 in membership dues for the La Jolla Country Club and money toward the hundreds of thousands of dollars in travel expenses the couple was accustomed to spending.” Hoo boy!
Thank you. Try the veal.
For what it’s worth, I hope Elizabeth takes him for all he’s worth. But it’s not up to me.
The LA Times says that people might spend a little less on Dad this year.
The article quotes Tracy Mullin, president of the National Retail Federation: “Along with the usual ties, gift-givers will be looking into items that dad can enjoy with the whole family. Retailers will offer specials on new grill sets, sporting and gardening equipment and even electronics as the holiday rolls around.”
You know what I want? For you not to spend a lot of money on anything.
Getting gifts is great. But let’s be honest. I’m an adult. When I was a child, I got all excited about my birthday. Oooo! I’m getting presents! What’d you get me? Huh? Huh?
Now that I’m older? I’d rather save the cash.
Don’t get me wrong, family o’mine. I’ll be very happy with whatever you get me. But please don’t feel like you have to get me anything, especially something that costs a lot of money. My favorite Father’s Day gift so far is a bookmark I received from my oldest son back when he was in nursery school. It’s a print of his actual foot, laminated, with a little poem on it that I can’t remember at the moment. (Getting older sucks.) But even writing about it now, I’m getting a little verklempt. (“The Spanish Inquisition was neither Spanish, nor an inquisition… discuss.”) It cost nothing. (Well, there was tuition for the nursery school. But that wasn’t explicitly for the bookmark.)
As for the suggestions from Tracy Mullin of the National Retail Federation, let say this. Ties? Nah. Any tie that fits into the category of “I can afford this” is probably not worth buying. Maybe if it’s funny. But otherwise, anyone who wears a tie on a regular basis probably knows what he likes, and unless you know what that is, don’t get involved. Even if you DO know what type of tie dad likes, what kind of present is that? Why not get him some nice boxer shorts? That’s both lame AND non-traditional.
As for “gifts the whole family can enjoy” — what is this, Homer’s bowling ball redux? (For the uninitiated, in the “Life on the Fast Lane” episode of “The Simpsons”, Homer buys Marge a bowling ball, thinking that she will give it to him because she doesn’t enjoy bowling. She responds by taking bowing lessons from a guy named Jacques, with whom she almost has an affair. Good times, good times.) A “gift for the whole family” is not a gift for dad. Can you imagine if someone said the same thing about getting gifts for mom? There woud be protests. Mommy Bloggers would be up in arms. Public apologies would be demanded, and offered. An outcry not seen since that stupid Motrin ad. Getting dad a grill is like getting mom an iron. Try that one next Mother’s Day. Then take a picture of the iron-shaped imprint on your head and send it to me.
So buy dad someting if you want to but don’t feel like you have to spend a lot of money. At the same time, don’t buy him something just because it’s cheap. If it feels like a cheap gift, if probably is. If you want to get him something nice without spending a lot, how about a day of rest and relaxation? Works for me.
What I’m reading as I change my shirt three times a day:
- Gee, I guess firing Willie Randolph was a good idea. (Mets win, take over first place from Phillies – MyWay Sports)
- We all have too much crap. Forbes says you can want to have less. It helps if you can’t afford to buy anything. (How To Want Less Stuff – Forbes.com)
- It’s now illegal to sell Mature-rated video games to minors in New York State. Oh good, this is the biggest problem facing society today. (NY gov signs game bill into law – ZDNet)
Forbes tells us that Bill Gates is no longer the richest guy in the world. Wah. Poor baby.
The reason? Microsoft trying to buy Yahoo! caused their stock to drop. Warren “why didn’t my parents buy your stock?” Buffet is now richer.
I do wonder if people who are this rich actually spend time thinking about things like this. Like, does he look at his stocks going down in value and think, “Oh shit, it’s all over. Better scan the want ads”? I kinda doubt it.
I will say that the few very wealthy people I know don’t throw cash around, at least not to just anyone. They may have nice things, maybe even REALLY nice things, but usually you can see how they managed to get rich in the first place — by being smarter than, say, me, about money.
Here’s a problem we’d all like to have: the Rooney family is trying to keep The Pittsburgh Steelers a family-owned NFL franchise for as long as possible. To do that, Dan Rooney and Art Rooney II are attempting to buy out their siblings. For about $35 million each. The idea is to keep local billionaire Stanley Druckenmiller from owning the team.
Part of the issue is that the NFL, with typical hypocrisy, wants to eliminate any connections to gambling interests. The Rooneys own racetracks, which Roger Goody-Goody-Goodell has a problem with.
The daddy-part of the story (other than that I wish the Rooneys would adopt me) is this:
Their father, Art Rooney Sr., was heavily involved in gambling and, according to legend, bought the Steelers in 1933 with $2,500 in racetrack winnings. But the NFL now frowns on any ownership association with gambling.
That last sentence is pretty funny, since NFL events such as, oh, I don’t know, the Super Bowl, generate insane amounts of money via gambling. As long as the NFL isn’t directly involved, I guess it’s OK, right?
My dad left me $1,000 which I never saw because my mother needed it for something. So, you know, I can’t relate to this at all. Talk about the DNA lottery. Not bitter, good for them, but sheesh. Come to New York and buy me a drink or something.