Jun 23 2014

Article About Mentally Ill Kids

This New York Times article about mentally ill kids is troubling. Well-written, interesting reading, but troubling, especially if you are a parent. Caveat reader.

Seeing Sons’ Violent Potential, but Finding Little Help or Hope – NYTimes.com

May 10 2014

Let Men Take Care of the Kids

I’m watching a debate on BBC World News Intelligence2 (squared), World of Debate. The topic is “Can the hand that rocks the cradle also rock the boardroom?” Two women are arguing no, two others are arguing yes. Luckily some people are making the point that it is possible to let men take care of the children and run the household.
I’ve been beating this drum for a long time. The question that women can or can’t “have it all” is one that men seem not to have to answer. That pressure can come from women themselves.
Nobody can “have it all.” I don’t have it all. Maybe the supremely wealthy and well-adjusted can come close, but the phrasing itself is unrealistic in any context.
Attitudes badly need to change. Even the most negative members of this particular panel agree that change is happening, albeit at a “glacial pace” according to one of the speakers.
“We’ve got to stop beating ourselves up,” says one woman on the show. (They aren’t putting their names on the screen; I’ll try to look it up later.) I could not agree with this more. I’m not a perfect father, and that has nothing to do with work. Actually, I’m going to correct myself. Sometimes it is about work. If I have a tight deadline for an article that sometimes means ignoring my kids while I pound away at my laptop. I used to feel awful when I did this, and I still feel some guilt whenever it happens. I can only imagine how much worse a woman with a busy work schedule feels. The expectations are so different.
I’ve said it so many times but it bears repeating: there will never be a magazine called Working Father. There is one called Working Mother. Think about that.

Aug 23 2013

Grah! I Am Not Getting Anything Done

I am not getting anything done. This is frustrating.

I don’t think I need a book like Organizing For Dummies. First, I’m not a dummy. Second, the issue isn’t organization. It’s time.

Yes, there’s a book for that too. And it can bite me. (Technically it can’t, unless it’s one of those books from Harry Potter. But I digress.)

The issue for me is not managing time properly. The issue is not having any time to manage.

Parenting, as I’ve said often, is not easy. Raising kids takes time. Some of the things that one must do when raising kids are things that can only be done if said kids leave you alone for awhile. My kids are great. But I’m the type of person who needs multiple minutes in a row in order to accomplish anything significant. Starting a task — even, say, writing a blog post — and then getting interrupted (not always by kids) can and does derail my activity. This isn’t the case for everyone, but it is for me.

Then there’s relaxation. Downtime is a requirement for parents. It took me awhile to realize this, but trust me, it’s true. While it is true that the children eventually go to sleep and I could use that time to do various tasks, that’s not always a good idea. Because a tired dad is a cranky dad, and a cranky dad is no fun for anyone.

Eventually the stuff that absolutely must be done will in fact be done. Because that’s the way it is. This is how we do it. Letting important things slide is not an option. Starting and stopping and getting stymied is still annoying.

Dadding ain’t easy. See also: SAHD WAHD. Then call me a wahhhbulance.

Dec 06 2012

How To Stop Online Gaming From Being a Hellish Pit of Vicious Verbiage

This article about a video game called League of Legends (which I’ve never played or even heard of) intrigued me because the game maker, Riot Games, is attempting to address what is apparently a serious problem within the Legends community.

Apparently many of the players are dickheads.


And as lead game producer Travis George puts it in his interview with Gamasutra, “Nobody wants to play a game with somebody who’s mean.”

Amen to that.

Of course, mean people playing games online is not limited to League of Legends. Which is a problem once your kids want to get involved.

As a parent who grew up playing video games, I’m highly conflicted about the current “social” state of gaming. What used to be a niche element of the gaming world — online play with strangers — has become as ubiquitous as broadband Internet connections. Read more »

Jul 03 2012

Write Stuff Down Because You’ll Forget (Tips)

DaddyTips—Thoughts on Dadding

When a parent tells you to write stuff down, they could be talking about good old to-do lists. I do that constantly; I’m concerned that I’ll forget to do whatever it is I’m writing down, and also because I actually am likely to forget whatever it is unless I write it down. (Follow that?) In this case, I’m not speaking of to-do lists. I’m talking about about stuff you do with your kids. You should write it down because you will forget.

You may think that you’ll remember. After all, you’re not that old, right?  Read more »

Nov 30 2011

Justin Combs, Son of Diddy, Gets Football Scholarship

P. Diddy’s son Justin Combs has received a football scholarship to UCLA, according to published reports.

I’m glad things are working out for Diddy, aka Sean Combs. Poor guy hasn’t had much success. Oh wait.

Anyway, good for Justin. The Winnipeg Free Press says that Diddy is proud of his kid (kiddy?), adding, “This is one of the proudest moments of my life. This is everything a father could want for his son, for him to excel at what he loves to do.”

Fair enough. Not having to pay for college is nice too.

Proud father P. Diddy (Winnipeg Free Press)

Sep 08 2011

My Parents Want To Control Me [iPad]

Funny comment on Apple.com’s discussion boards: “I just bought the iPad today and my parents want to control me.”

(Emphasis added). Read more »