Posts Tagged ‘Celebrities’
Reading Texts From Teenage Stars [Tongue-Clucking Pundit]
I hate to become one of the tongue-clucking pundits that I so often mock. But this is kind of gross.
Apparently Montana Tucker is a teenage singer/actress/whatever and was involved in some sort of love triangle with Adam Sevani and Miley Cyrus.
The only one of these three young people I have heard of is Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz. She’s, like, a really big star. The other two, who knows.
Anyway, the point is that supposedly these text messages were read on The Carson Daly Show. (And no, I’m not taking issue with the fact that Carson Daly has a TV show. He’s entitled to make a living even if no one watches him do it.)
Text messages from 15 and 16 year olds. Stuff like this:
Fwd: Im going to watch a show right now. but I wana be seeing u
perform…
Fwd: I don’t pay attention to that stuff. I like you, is that obvious enough?
Fwd: Email me those pics when u get homeFwd: Goodnight my orange flavored pudding cake
EWWW!
This is gross. Why is anyone interested? Why isn’t this illegal? Seriously, there is no news value to knowing that Montana Tucker might be in love with Adam Sevani as opposed to Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Stewart Lipschutz, or the other way around, or whatever the hell is going on there. Seriously, I don’t want to know. And who does want to know? I guess other teenagers.
How is this different from the 50’s when people wondered whether or not Fabian was swapping spit with Annette Funicello? (Somebody must have wondered that, right?) I guess the difference is how much we know. Do we really need to see their text messages? Isn’t that just… creepy?
Here’s another thought. It’s all made up. Which would be creepier. That is, Adam Sevani (whoever the hell that is, and I could Google him but I refuse to do so on principle) or Montana Tucker, or someone on their “team” (a publicist, agent, napkin folder) fabricated this story, wrote a bunch of idiotic text messages, and then yakked about the whole thing. That would be a fake invasion of privacy.
The other difference is that now, adults are vaguely expected to know who these people are. Miley Cyrus wants to be taken seriously. I would imagine the other two dopes involved here want the same thing.
Please. Make it stop. Wait until you are at least 21 to be this annoying. And anyone intrigued by the text messages of teenagers that aren’t your own children? Keep it to yourself. You might get arrested like Pete Townshend.
Miley Cyrus? Montana Tucker? Adam Sevani? What? at The Insider.
Miley Cyrus Party In The U.S.A. Image via Amazon
Michael Lohan Still Talking About Famous Daughter
Can Michael Lohan stop talking? I mean that literally. It appears that he has Lindsay Lohan Tourette Syndrome. He really just canNOT shut up about his daughter.
This time it’s the fact that Lindsay has been hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio. But they’re not dating or anything. Just spending time together. Oh! And she’s been hanging around other famous dudes too!
“They have been friends for years. Mark Wahlberg, Robert Downey Jr., Leonardo DiCaprio and a few others – I think they have a lot of positive things to offer.”
He’s such a shithead. What possible good can come of all this yammering? Well, good for Lindsay Lohan. Michael Lohan, it keeps his name out there, which seems to be what he cares about.
Leo DiCaprio a good influence on Lilo, says her father – Monsters and Critics
Tiger Woods Emails To Rachel Uchitel
We will add “alleged emails” because there is no proof so far that these are real. But if they are, Tiger is a challenger to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford for the title of Douchiest Email Of All Time.
“I know it’s brutal on you that you can’t be with me all the time. I get it. It f***ing kills me, too. I finally found someone I connect with, someone I have never found like this. Not even at home. You want someone to witness your life. I want you to lay next to me, lay on me or where ever you want to lay. F***. Why didn’t we find each other years ago. We wouldn’t be having this conversation.”
“Not even at home”? Is he kidding? That’s the whole point, dude. Married men everywhere are looking at Tiger and thinking that not only did he cheat, not only did he get caught, but he PUT IT IN WRITING. And not only did he put it in writing, he wrote bullshit like this.
Well, you know. Allegedly.
Tiger Woods Emails To Rachel Uchitel (InTouch Weekly)
Rihanna Wearing Military Mickey Mouse Ears
Oh, and apparently her nipple is showing. Not posting the pics because they aren’t ours, but here’s what TMZ says:
While on the set of her latest video outside L.A. the other day, Rihanna wore her favorite Mickey Mouse ears helmet and unknowingly flashed one of her weapons.
By “weapons” they mean her, ahem. Cans.
Then they said this:
RiR’s bullet bra proved she’s armed and scandalous.
I have no idea what that means.
She’s a lovely young woman but the Mickey Mouse ears helmet is odd. I guess being super hot and having a good voice isn’t enough anymore.
Rihanna Gets Nip Slipped a Mickey (TMZ)
Pictures of Jaimee Grubbs
Here are some pictures of Jaimee Grubbs. Who is Jaimee Grubbs? She may have had an affair with Tiger Woods. Did Jaimee Grubbs, or Jamie Grubbs as some are calling her, have an affair with Tiger Woods? Can we type Jamie Grubbs and Tiger Woods affair often enough? Perhaps we already have.
Apparently Jaimee Grubbs, or Jamie Grubbs, or Jaime Grubbs, or Jamie Grubb, or whatever, once appeared on a VH1 reality show called Tool Academy. I think it wasn’t about tools. Well, not the kind of tools one buys at Home Depot. Maybe the kind of tools who shop at Home Depot. (Thank you! Tip your waitresses!)
It should be pointed out that we have no knowledge of any affair between Jaime Grubbs and Tiger Woods. We do have a link to pictures of Jaimee Grubbs at VH1.com. And we have pictures here. Look! She’s cute.
All About Jaimee Grubbs (Examiner)
Pictures of Jaimee Grubbs (VH1.com)
Jon Gosselin Is Still Out of His Mind
Jon and Kate Plus 8 may have been canceled but that hasn’t stopped the stream of interviews with Jon and Kate (the 8 have no comment for now). An interview on PopEater confirms that Jon Gosselin is still out of his mind.
The latest wackiness: Jon Gosselin Promises the Holidays Will Be the Same for the Kids. Dude. How is that possible? Unless he means that the holidays will be utterly bizarre, something they have been ever since the Gosselins decided to turn their lives into a TV show.
Amusingly, the dopey dad does not mention celebrating Chanukah, despite the fact that Jon Gosselin declared to ParentDish that he was now Jewish. Well, OK. Half Jewish. In fact, he even said he planned to celebrate the festival of lights, telling ParentDish: “This is the first year I will celebrate Chanukah. Hailey is Jewish. Everyone in my life is Jewish now, my attorney. I love it. I’m now half Jewish and half Korean. The family values are great.” (And the food. Oy! That Gefilte fish!)
Jon also told ParentDish “On Christmas, I’ll see my kids during the day for a couple of hours.” But that was a whole month ago. Now he tells PopEater the following: “Christmas Eve and Christmas day are joint-shared custody days, which means we’re both in the house. So we’ll be there.”
What does this mean? That the guy is living a stream of consciousness type of life. No reflection whatsoever. He just says whatever pops into his head at the moment he is asked a question. And he gets asked questions all day long. It’s bizarre.
Look. Divorce is hard on everyone. And going through it in the public eye is even harder. But is it really necessary to do interviews constantly? Maybe it is — apparently Gosselin wants to remain on television, telling the entertainment show “The Insider” that “he plans to make TV his career,” according to Examiner.com. So keeping himself “out there” helps.
On the other hand, maybe he could just get a regular job.
Image: Amazon.com
Christina Aguilera and Her Jew Husband
My headline here is intended to be sarcastic. Here is what I’m responding to:
Christina Aguilera fell in love with and actually married her fuzzy-face geeky manager Jordan Bratman. Why? Good question. Maybe she liked his managerial skills or the way he balanced her books?
(via The Envelope/LATimes.com, “Hollywood’s Luckiest Guys”)
Now. I ask you. If Ms. Aguilera had married a Black man, and the L.A. Times wrote “Maybe she likes fried chicken and watermelon”, would they have gotten away with it? Of course not. And yes, I realize that a chicken/watermelon comment is far more offensive than what the L.A. Times actually wrote. I think the “balanced her books” thing is supposed to mean that members of the tribe (aka Jews), of which Bratman is one, possess good accounting skills.
This is not to imply that Bratman isn’t lucky. He’s lucky as all hell. Aguilera is hot, successful, talented, and hot. I mean, look at this (videos kind of safe for work, but actually, probably not):
Or this:
So yes. He’s a lucky guy. But what does his Hebrew heritage have to do with anything?
Letterman apologizes to his wi…
Letterman apologizes to his wife, and Nintendo will offer Wii Fit for Dogs. Really. Morning News -> http://su.pr/2JsRzk
Christina Aguilera Loves Her Jewish Man
Memo to hot young singers everywhere.
Get yourself a nice Jewish boy.
Christina Aguilera tells E! that she grew up sans male role model. And now she loves her husband, Jordan Bratman. Bratman was “born and raised Jewish” according to Wikipedia. That means that he’s, you know, Jewish. Why they don’t just say that is because, like the song says… well, listen to it.
Here’s the interview. Aguilera is hot, talented, and successful. And she married a nice Jewish guy from the South Bronx. Heck, her kid even has a fairly normal name, Max Liron Bratman; the “Liron” is apparently Hebrew, which is because BRATMAN IS JEWISH, not just “born and raised Jewish.”
Anyway.
via Famecrawler
Farrah Fawcett Dead at 62
Farrah Fawcett has lost her battle with cancer.
Sad. 62 just isn’t that old.
For people who don’t recall, she was at one time the most beautiful woman in the world. You know how everyone gets all worked up about Megan Fox? Imagine that times a billion. That poster was on more bedroom walls than paint.
Image: Cybertown
